


Connections

by FabulousPotatoSister



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hearing Voices, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Minor Injuries, Reader-Insert, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:20:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23629912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousPotatoSister/pseuds/FabulousPotatoSister
Summary: You've been having dreams, and hearing voices in your head. All about one woman - hair spun like gold, eyes like the stars - who is she? And why has she just suddenly showed up one day?
Relationships: The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Reader, Thirteenth Doctor/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 96





	Connections

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by a prompt sent in by alex (@timelord-winchester-22b on Tumblr) from the thirsting for thirteen discord server! i checked when she sent it in and it was in january...... i started writing this in february.... and now i'm posting it in april. wow it really took me almost 2 months to finish writing this and i took a break from this fic for so long. 
> 
> enjoy the fic!!!

_“I’m sorry. I really am.”_

_“Don’t be.”_

_She raised her hands to your head, her fingers lightly caressing your temple, just barely brushing against the skin there. A shaky breath escaped her lips as she looked you right in the eyes, her own eyes almost obscured by her blonde hair. “Are you ready?”_

_“As I’ll ever be.”_

_And then a flash of bright light –_

* * *

And then you woke up. 

You sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Soft sunlight filtered through the shuttered windows of your flat, running across your well-worn bedsheets and bathing them in a golden light.

You’d dreamed about her again.

You’d been having vivid dreams recently, more vivid than the ones that usually came to you in your sleep before. They used to be like fragments of something like a life you used to have - blurry and unclear, like watching something while being underwater. You would dream of explosions and running away, but you would always feel like a ghost in someone else’s body. And in those dreams, you’d see a woman.

She wasn’t much taller than you, she was blonde, and she always wore a coat. That was all you knew until your newest dream. You’d never seen her face until then. 

You leaned against the doorframe of your bathroom, sleep still weighing your muscles down. You stepped onto the white tiles and shivered at their coldness, their temperature practically shocking you awake. You reached out and flicked the lights on, looking at yourself in the mirror. 

The first thing she had said to you in the dream was an apology. You raised your hands to your cheeks as you looked at yourself in your fogged-up mirror. Your fingers came away wet, and you frowned. You didn’t remember crying.

You heard a faint voice behind you - soft, so soft you’d miss it if you even breathed - **_Come find me._**

That was new. Maybe you were actually going crazy.

It didn’t matter anyway, you thought, as you continued through your daily routine of having breakfast, getting dressed for work, and leaving home to the somewhat sunny weather of Sheffield. 

It was just a dream, and you’d forget about it soon enough. 

Work was boring. Then again, it was always boring. Working at a convenience store didn’t bring much excitement to your life anyway. Of course, you’d get the occasional interesting customer, or you’d get the creepy men who would try to come onto you and/or ask for your number. The only thing you could look forward to was when you got off your shift, which was later in the afternoon, and then you would hang out with Yaz.

Your phone buzzed, and you fished it out of your pocket. 

**Yaz: Hey, I might be a bit late today - just got back from travelling and got home later than I thought**

Maybe you didn’t have anything to look forward to today. You sighed, replying:

**Me: how late are we talking?**

**Yaz: Maybe an hour?**

**Me: Yaz :^(**

**Yaz: I’m so sorry! I’ll make it up to you by paying for food today :)**

Sighing again, you pocketed your phone. It was a Sunday, which was historically known to be quite boring, so the store was empty except for you and Johnny the security guard, who was usually asleep or not there at all. Today, he didn’t bother to show up. Good for him. You always tried to find a silver lining in everything - for example, at least you’d have nothing to clean today - but that was weak. 

Well, work _was_ boring until a beautiful woman walked in.

She wasn’t beautiful in a conventional sense, not like a supermodel, but she had a certain charm to her, walking into a convenience store like she’d never been in one before. She looked up at the haphazardly placed Valentine’s decorations, scrunching her nose at the badly-cut hearts and placing her hands in the pockets of her long coat. An earring glinted in the fluorescent lights before being covered by messy blonde hair. 

You stared.

You were still staring when she walked up to your counter with a box of custard creams in hand. She placed them down and you stared at her hands - your gaze travelled up her hands from the lilac sleeves of her coat (the coat you’d seen her wear), to the stripes on her blue shirt (which was maroon in your dreams), to her face. 

You recognized her arched eyebrows and slightly downturned eyes, and her eyes - her eyes were the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. They looked like different things every time you blinked. They were green but flecked with brown, like the leaves of a tree on the cusp of fall or like a nebula in outer space. 

That was her - the woman from your dreams.

“How much for this?” she asked, and your heart stopped. You tried to recall the woman’s apology from your dream, and their voices were the same. That was exactly her. You shakily took the box and scanned it, stuttering out the price. 

How was she here? And who was she exactly?

“W - what’s your name?” you stammered, ignoring your unwritten rule about interacting with the customers. You had to ask. 

The woman blinked, her forehead creasing. Were you imagining it or did you see disappointment on her face? “I’m the Do - no, I’m Jo - _Jane_ Smith. I’m Jane Smith.”

Jane. So, her name was Jane - it was a nice name, somewhat ordinary for a woman who’d been a mystery to you for such a long time. But it was a start. You placed the box of custard creams in a bag, handing it to her. Small talk would make this better, right? “It’s a little weird to buy just one box of biscuits.”

“Well, on my - _where I live_ , I get them for free. Well, I say free, but really I’ve got a dispenser that I probably should be paying for,” Jane said, taking the bag from you. “Thank you very much.”

“Your welcome.” _Please don’t let her be like any other customer. I need to see her again._

You looked outside to see that it had considerably darkened. The sky wasn’t as blue as it was when you left your flat, and you heard the soft pitter patter of rain from behind the glass windows of the store. Jane was also looking out, the crease on her forehead deepening at the weather. 

“I don’t want to go,” Jane muttered, almost to herself, but she looked back at you and smiled. “Thank you for the biscuits! Again!”

Then she walked out, holding the bag of biscuits under one arm. It was just like that - the woman who you had been seeing in your dreams for the longest time had just come into the store you worked in, made small talk with you, and then left and walked out into the rain.

Your eyes widened. She had walked out into the rain -

You vaulted over your counter and swiped an umbrella from the umbrella stand, holding it to your chest and sprinting as fast as your hey-I-barely-exercise-legs could carry you (although those legs of yours had seemed much hardier lately). You stepped through the automatic doors and into the rain, which was now pouring, catching up to Jane, who was sheltered underneath her bag of custard creams, which was now getting soaked and offering no kind of protection whatsoever. 

You unfurled the umbrella, holding it above Jane’s head. She turned around and jumped back in surprise, lowering the waterlogged paper bag. “Oh! Thank you. Again. The weather’s really unpredictable nowadays, I didn’t even notice it was raining.”

“Oh, no problem,” you panted, putting a hand on your knee. Jane seemed to gape, confusion coloring her features. “You should have this.”

“No, I couldn’t - '' Jane opened her mouth and closed it again, still holding her bag close to her. You tried to ignore the way her now wet blonde hair stuck to her face, and how her shirt was just a little too damp for your sensibilities. 

“No, it’s from the shop.” The rain was pouring harder now, and Jane was the only one under an umbrella. “It’s on me. I’ll pay for it, it’s not expensive anyway.”

You pushed the umbrella into Jane’s free hand so she couldn’t argue. She broke into a smile, looking relieved, and then nodded. “Thank you. I suppose you’re getting tired of me thanking you all the time.”

You smiled back, blinking against the torrent of rain. “Nope. It’s part of the job.”

Jane smiled again, wider this time, and started walking away again, holding your umbrella over her head and disappearing into the rain. 

_She’ll give it back_ , you thought, although you weren’t sure why you were so sure about that.

Your phone buzzed. You ran under the awning of the store and pulled it out, rubbing the wet screen against your shirt before unlocking it and reading the message. 

**Yaz: Nearly there!**

Sure enough, Yaz emerged from the rain, an umbrella held over her head and still dressed in the same jacket you saw her in a few weeks ago. Then again, it was a nice jacket, so you couldn’t blame her for wearing it a lot. Yaz beamed at you, giving you a hearty wave, before frowning at your wet state.

“What are you all wet for?” she asked, once she’d joined you under the awning. You shrugged, squeezing some of the water from your hair. 

“Gave a store umbrella to someone who walked out into the rain,” you explained. 

Yaz chuckled. “You’re gonna get fired for that one day.”

“Yeah, well,” you laughed, barely keeping the wonder out of your voice, “Yaz, have I ever told you about the dreams I’ve been having?”

Yaz’s smile slipped for a second. “No, don’t think you have.”

You couldn’t help but gaze off at where Jane had walked away. “I’ve been dreaming of a woman, and I just saw her today. I gave an umbrella to her today. Yaz, do you know a blonde?”

Yaz wasn’t smiling anymore. She glanced to the side, worried. “No. Why?”

Your heart sank slightly. “Thought you’d know who she was.”

“What was her name?” Yaz asked, putting a hand on your very wet shoulder.

“She said her name was Jane Smith.” 

Yaz stilled, furrowing her brows. Then she asked, “Is your shift over?”

Glancing at your phone, you shook your head. “No, but it’ll be in a few minutes.”

“Well, I did promise to buy you food, right?” Yaz said, sounding cheerier than before. “I’ll wait for your shift to be over.”

You could do that - but then you’d be alone with your thoughts about Jane. She was a mystery wrapped in a lilac coat, and a mystery that you weren’t sure you were going to solve. She was probably also a mystery you were going to spend the last few minutes of your shift obsessing over. Or, you could completely skip work and go with Yaz. Johnny the security guard wasn’t there anyway, and you were sure the guy replacing you would be here any minute. 

A few minutes couldn’t hurt, right? 

* * *

_“You can’t make that choice for me. I want you safe.” You stood across from her and rested your hands on your hips. She looked at you from where she was leaning on, her mouth drawn into a thin line._

_“I don’t want you to go through this,” she said, turning away from you._

_“I’ll be fine.” Why were you so sure about that? “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”_

* * *

Seeing Yaz was a friendly surprise to the end of your shift the next day.

“I’m sorry, I lied,” Yaz had said earlier, a smile plastered onto her face. “I did know a blonde.”

Jane was now standing across from you, smiling widely while Yaz looked like she wanted nothing more than to leave and never return. 

“Right, proper introductions,” Jane said. She read your name off your name card, which didn’t at all sound foreign from her mouth, and reintroduced herself as _Jane Smith_ more confidently than the last time you’d seen her. She reached over the counter to take your hand, and a stab of pain lanced through your head. 

**_Where are you?_ **

“I’m right here,” you muttered, then blinked. What was that?

It was probably just the amount of coffee you drank that morning. Well, Jane was holding your hand now, so that was a better painkiller than anything else.

“Much better - now we actually know each other,” she said finally, once she’d let go of your hand.

“How _do_ you two know each other?” you asked. 

“Oh, we’re friends. Yaz is a friend of mine,” Jane answered, earning her a look from Yaz.

“We travel together,” Yaz explained, almost sighing. Jane nodded earnestly. “Anyway, _Jane_ here doesn’t really have a place to stay until she travels again, and I was wondering if you were okay with her - “

_Jane? Pretty lady from my dreams staying at my flat until further notice?_

It was, quite literally, a dream come true.

You cut Yaz off. “Of course! Of course, I’d be happy to. Anytime. Starting when?”

“Starting today,” Jane said. She placed her hands behind her back, leaning forwards to take a quick look at your counter. “Don’t worry about luggage. I don’t need much.”

“Right.” Your mystery woman was just getting more mysterious by the minute. She was nothing like the brooding and worried Jane you’d seen in your dreams - here, she was pleasantly happy and looked unbothered. That was a good difference. A smile looked good on her.

“I’ll be waiting outside, then?” Jane asked. Yaz nodded, giving her a quick smile as she walked out of the store. 

“Hey, if anything happens...” Yaz trailed off, reaching over the counter and taking both your hands in hers. “I know the - I know Jane will keep you safe. You should trust her.”

_I already trust her. Completely._ “What are you so worried about, Yaz? I’ll be fine.”

Yaz smiled, but there was something hidden behind her eyes. “You always say that.”

“So, uh, welcome to my humble abode.”

It was already dark when you and Jane arrived at your flat. You squeezed into the small door, just barely registering Jane following behind you. “Sorry it’s not much.”

Your flat really wasn’t much - it was cheap and quite small, not in the cozy way but you did try your best to make it feel like a home. It was a little messy, with small decorations and knick-knacks scattered across every surface, although you’d noticed that some of your knick-knacks had gone missing recently. Your flat wasn’t much, sure, but Jane looked absolutely taken with the place. 

Jane walked around your flat, stepping over a bucket you’d left on the floor without even a glance towards it. She’d decided on examining a small sculpture of an apple that was on your kitchen counter, taking it into her hands and turning it over, watching it catch the light. 

“Have you been here before?” The Jane from your dreams seemed to know you, and know you very well, but this Jane shook her head, giving you a thin-lipped smile.

“Nope. Totally the first time,” she said, somewhat absentmindedly, before placing the apple exactly where she had picked it up.

You nodded. You continued to nod all the way to your bedroom, taking a few blankets and pillows and throwing them onto your sofa. Jane was a guest, and she was a very important guest, so logically it would be rude for her to sleep on the sofa while you stayed comfortable on the bed. Of course, it would also be good for her to sleep somewhere else in case you dreamed about her again. 

“What’s all that for?” Jane pointed at the pile of blankets you were smoothing out onto the sofa.

“Oh, these? These are for me,” you said, dusting off a pillow and placing it at the foot of the sofa. “You should take the bed. You’re my guest, after all.”

“But this is your house,” Jane said, although she sounded more amused than surprised. “I can take the sofa. I love a good sofa. Always wanted to have my own sofa. Anyway, I don’t sleep much, so I don’t really need a bed, mind.” 

You couldn’t help but watch her talk. Everything she did seemed so painfully familiar, and not because you’d seen it in a dream. _She’s so bright she could rival the sun_ , you thought, and then you wondered why that thought came so easy to you.

Jane turned to meet your gaze, and you found that you didn’t buckle under the weight of her stare. She seemed to be studying you - you weren’t being looked at, you were being _seen_.

“Alright, I’ll take the bed,” you said finally. “But call me if you need me.”

Jane nodded. “Always,” you heard her say.

You couldn’t help but let a smile creep onto your face.

Waking up peacefully was something that you had forgotten.

You didn't dream last night. That was new. You sat up, crossing your legs and resting your head on the back of your hand, trying to scan your brain for anything that might have happened last night. You went to work, and you came home with…

The sound of boiling water drifted into your bedroom, and your eyes widened.

_Jane._

You scrambled out of bed, nearly crashing into the living room to find Jane standing next to your kettle, two of your mugs waiting on the counter next to her.

"Good morning!" she said cheerfully, raising one hand in a wave. The pillows and blankets you left for her were still neatly folded on the sofa. Had she even slept at all? "I won't say I'm the best cook, but tea? I am good at that. I think. Fancy a cuppa?"

"Uh," you replied. Eloquent! 

"And I brought the box of custard creams I bought from you," Jane continued, turning the kettle off and pouring the hot water into the mugs. The box of custard creams was indeed on your tiny dining table. "I hope you don't mind eating your own merchandise."

"I do it all the time." _Okay, just sit down, try to make sense of it all._

"Then this should be fine." Jane picked up the mugs and placed them on the table next to the box of custard creams. She sat across from you and leaned over to pick up the box, picking at the packaging. "Not the best breakfast, I know, but I didn't know what you'd like."

Breakfast… right. You glanced up at the old clock you'd been gifted when you first moved into your apartment. It was still early in the morning.

"Do you have work today?" Jane asked, looking down into her tea. You shook your head. Yesterday was a Friday, so today was a Saturday… and Johnny the security guard could probably deal with whoever your replacement was going to be for the day. 

Jane already had the box of custard creams open, and was already just eating them out of the box. God, why was she so cute? 

Looking at her, an idea suddenly popped into your head. It was a stupid idea. It was a really stupid idea. 

But Jane was a mystery, she was still a mystery, and she was now a mystery who was kind of living with you and sitting in your flat eating custard creams for breakfast. 

"Listen, would you want to eat out with me?" You ignored the way your face burned. "Dinner, I mean. Not like this is a date or anything. I'm just… celebrating… something."

Jane blinked, falling silent. Why wasn't she saying anything? You were right, it _was_ a really bad idea -

You panicked, picking up your mug of tea - you swore, almost dropping the mug, you'd grabbed the mug itself and not the handle and _wow that was really hot_. Jane's hand shot out, taking the mug - after she had set it down, she grabbed your hand with hers and turned it over, staring intently at your palm.

"Are you alright? That looked like it hurt -" Jane brought your hand close to her face. "Human technology, really - the water doesn't _have_ to be boiling hot straight out of the kettle!"

_Human technology? What?_ You flushed at Jane holding your hand again. It was so close to her face you could feel her breath on your palm – she held your hand gently, and she had grabbed it almost on instinct - "Jane, it's fine - it was just really hot."

Jane's face fell. "Oh," she said, slowly letting go of your hand. She looked disappointed - but that faded away as she leaned back in her chair and reached into the box of custard creams again. "So. Dinner."

"Yes," you said, pulling your hand close to your chest. "Not a date."

The Doctor smiled, taking another thoughtful bite of what must be her fourth custard cream. "Not a date," she echoed. "Brilliant.”

You didn’t think the “not-a-date” was going to be a good idea, but you were already sitting together with Jane at a nice café, so could you really back out now?

The moon shone brightly outside, but you were more fixated on the pretty fairy lights the café owners had strung up at their outside seating area. They shone like stars, gently illuminating the faces of the people sitting at all the different, well-decorated tables.

“This place is nice,” Jane said, smiling gently. She liked the decoration of this place better than the decorations in your shop, it seemed.

“Yeah, well, I kind of regret not finding out about it sooner.” You sighed, folding your hands in your lap. “I don’t get to come here much.”

“But you don’t have very long shifts,” Jane muttered. You raised an eyebrow at her – how would she know that? “Not that I would know that, of course. I mean you’ve got plenty of time to go to nice places like this.”

You stared at Jane – the lights outside were pretty but she was right in front of you. You almost regretted trying to spruce yourself up for the “not-date”. Jane hadn’t changed out of her clothes at all and yet she still looked beautiful. Sitting right in front of her, you had a better chance to look at her face. You weren’t marveling at something beautiful and new; you were marveling at something beautiful and familiar.

There was no question about it – she really was the woman from your dreams. But how would you start a conversation about that? _Hey, I see you in my dreams all the time, care to explain what you’re doing in them?_ Totally not creepy at all. You thought the dinner was a good place to ask her, but it seemed stupider with every passing second.

“Something on your mind?” Jane asked. You looked up at her.

“Loads,” you said. Once again, no backing down. “Listen, I have something to tell you – _agh_!“

**_Do you see me?_ **

A sharp, stabbing pain blossomed in your head, and you screwed your eyes shut. Not now! You could vaguely hear Jane calling your name, and her scrambling out of her seat. You raised your hands to your head, pressing against your temples, but the pain didn’t go away – and the voice was getting louder.

**_Come and see me…_ **

****

“ _Where_?!” you cried out. Someone was grabbing your shoulders, shaking you slightly – Jane was talking, but you couldn’t hear her voice, just a loud, droning hum that wormed its way into your mind.

**_End it._ **

****

_End what?_ It was all too much. You tipped forward, out of your chair, and a pair of hands caught you, bringing you down gently to the floor. _End it? What did they mean by “end it”?_

**_End it._ **

****

Thoughts swirled around inside your head, your panic only making it hurt more. _What do you mean, “end it”?_

You got a response. **_You need freedom, just like me._**

There was a sound, like someone crying out – and all of a sudden, it was gone. The pain, the voice, the droning hum – you opened your eyes, slowly, seeing Jane holding you by the shoulders, fear in her eyes.

That was a familiar sight.

“What happened?” Jane asked, looking into your eyes like she was searching for something.

You looked up. Some of the customers in the café had gathered around you, concerned faces surrounding the two of you on the floor. You swallowed, taking in a deep, shuddering breath.

“I – I don’t know.” And you really didn’t. All you wanted was a quiet moment. “I just – I want to go home.”

“Okay,” Jane said quietly. She stood up slowly, pulling you up and wrapping one arm around your waist. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

_“Run!”_

_This was bad._

_You were being chased - at least, that’s all you could think amidst all your panic. You let your feet fall heavy against the floor of the ship you were on, begging your lungs for even the tiniest shred of oxygen so that you could keep on running._

_She pushed you into a corner, keeping you hidden against a wall while the probe continued its relentless search for you. A wailing siren echoed throughout the hallway, the noise sweeping across where you were hiding before coming to a sudden stop. You paused, holding your breath._

_“Do you think it’s gone?” you whispered. She shook her head._

_One second._

_It took just one second._

_The probe reached out with a mechanical pincer and roughly grabbed your arm, the metal sinking into soft skin where it would surely leave bruises later, if there was a later to see them. The probe yanked, and your hands lost grip on her sleeve, and you were pulled into the darkness -_

_“DOCTOR!”_

* * *

You gasped. The air was cold, a shock to your throat, and you sat up quickly, the sheets underneath you bunching up and shifting underneath your shaking form. 

It was normal. It had just been like any other dream. But you had never woken up _scared_ and yet here you were, shivering and holding the spot on your arm where the pincer had grabbed you. It seemed so real. You pulled up your sleeve to touch the skin there and it _hurt_. 

This was just a terrible night – the day had started off so well, with no strange dreams and just a lovely morning, and then you were hearing _voices_ and having bad dreams again and waking up absolutely _terrified_ -

Jane’s voice calling your name was like a bucket of cold water to the face. You glanced up to see her standing in the doorway, and -

“Jane,” you sobbed, feeling so incredibly small. 

She practically jumped onto the bed, shifting so she was right by your side, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You crumpled into her touch, leaning into her shirt and clutching the fabric there. Its softness was enough to ground you, the familiar smell of honey soothing you as you cried in the arms of someone who was almost a stranger to you.

But, you noted as she wrapped another arm around you, Jane wasn’t a stranger. She was the woman from your dreams, and since the day you gave her an umbrella, she had never felt like a stranger to you. You felt like you had known her for forever, and here she was holding you and comforting you like she had known you for forever. 

You pulled away eventually, and seeing Jane look down at you with such concern was almost enough for you to start crying again. “Sorry, sorry, that was stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Jane said indignantly. 

“Yeah, well - “You reached up to rub your arm, Jane’s gaze following your hand. “It was just a nightmare.”

Jane stilled, moving her arm away from your shoulders and onto your hand. Pain shot through your temples, just like it did when you were at the store, and on the “date”.

“Of _course_ , just exactly when I thought it would,” she muttered. Then, looking back at you, she asked, “What did you see in your nightmare?”

You took the sight of Jane in, all furrowed eyebrows and tight lips, her shoulders free of her coat that she usually wore, making her seem much smaller than she usually was. Her hair fell over her face, messy in a charming way.

Once again, beautiful.

“You,” you finally mumbled. Jane’s eyes widened. “I saw - _you_.”

Suddenly, a loud wailing noise filled your room. Your breath hitched - that was it, that was the sound that you’d heard. It was like a searchlight, getting louder and softer, before a floating, mechanical object with protruding arms and pincers appeared in the middle of your bedroom. 

“And that!” you yelped, pointing at the floating object. “I also saw that!”

The floating object wavered in the air, shimmering in the dim light of your bedroom. It shimmered again, and it morphed into another shape - the shape of a masked man, dressed in all black like a stereotypical movie villain, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Finally got you,” he said, uncrossing his arms with a flourish. “Hello again.”

_Hello again_? You stood up, off the bed, Jane following suit. “What do you want?” 

“You know what I want,” the man explained, “after all, you’re the one who took it from me.”

Jane stepped forward, and before you could even yell, she swept her hand through the man. It passed through him like it was nothing, the space where she had moved her hand shimmering before reforming back into his body. Jane frowned, circling around the figure. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “That’s not the right question. _Why_ are you here? How did you manage to track her when she doesn’t even have any memories of what she’s stolen? I thought your probe worked with base memories, not - _oh._ ”

“Did you think your plan would work, Doctor?” the man said, taking a step forward. _Doctor_? You glanced towards Jane, hoping for some kind of explanation, but she was keeping her eyes trained on the man. “A simple block in your companion’s memories? Memories are very fickle things, very stubborn. They can leak out and become _dreams_.”

_Doctor?_ Jane extended her arm. “Get behind me.”

You moved quickly, standing behind her like it was an instinctual action. “Who are you?”

The man chuckled. “Right. We haven’t properly been introduced. Call me the Exigent. I’m calling you from my probe that I’ve ordered to take you back to the Oblivion.”

The Exigent had a laugh in his voice, like the kind of man that would kick you just to watch you cry and then laugh afterwards. He was probably somewhere else, letting his probe do his bidding for him, refusing to get his hands dirty. _He sounded_ , you thought, annoyance rising in your chest, _like a bully._

“Coward,” you spat. Jane turned toward you in surprise. “Meet us face to face.”

“Excuse me?” The Exigent leaned forward. “You don’t even know what you know.”

“If you want what’s in my head, you’re gonna have to get me,” you challenged, the more lucid part of your brain beating you up for threatening someone that looked like he could kill you on the spot, looking over Jane’s shoulder at right at where you assumed the Exigent’s eyes were. “You said I don’t know what I know. So, tell me _to my face_.”

The Exigent hummed, his black clothing shining under a light that wasn’t there. He unfurled his arms and laughed; the sound garbled through the transmission. “Very well, then. You’re a smart one.” 

He turned to Jane, something like amusement coating his words. “You tried to run, Doctor, and look where that got you. I’ll see you soon.”

Then, the shimmering image disappeared, along with the floating mechanical object, leaving you and Jane alone in your dark bedroom.

The Exigent had said _hello again_ , like you’d met before. And the probe was the same probe that you had seen in your nightmares, the same one that had grabbed your arm. And the Exigent had called Jane _the Doctor_ and she hadn’t denied it, like that was her name all along. 

It was all too much. Too many questions, not enough answers. 

Jane turned around to face you. Her worried face is cut by fear. “I know you’re scared, and I’m sorry. I'm so, so sorry. It didn’t work.”

You swallowed. Sure, you were scared, but all you wanted was _answers_ \- to your dreams, to Jane, to the strange voice, to everything that was going on. “You - _the Doctor_ \- and why does he want _me_ of all people -”

"I know this is all frightening to you, but I need you to trust me.”

Jane lifted her hand to your temple, but didn’t connect her fingers to your skin. They simply brushed against your hair, and sent shivers down your spine. She was waiting for permission, you realized, and you finally met her gaze.

The nebula of her eyes was even more expansive than you’d thought - her eyes were like the universe, infinite and mysterious, with so many secrets and so many lives hidden behind every curve and color. You weren’t joking when you had thought they were the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, and in the low light of your bedroom they seemed to _glow_. 

“I have so many questions,” you whispered. Jane nodded.

“And I have the answers,” she said softly. “Do you trust me?”

“Completely.”

When her fingers connected with your temple, it was just like falling asleep.

* * *

_It was almost like watching a movie played back at twice the speed._

_Months of memories came rushing back, jumbled conversations and foggy recollections becoming clear, like the bursting of a dam and its water rushing over everything, making it all clean._

_And like rushing water, it eventually calmed, its surface smoothing over to reveal something specific -_

_“Don’t touch anything,” the Doctor warned, opening the TARDIS doors to a dimly lit hallway. She stepped out first, and you followed, the cold air making you regret your decision to wear something with your arms bare._

_“I thought we’d be going somewhere hotter,” you said, shooting the Doctor a look. She glanced at your bare arms, swallowed, and turned back towards the dark hallway._

_“Trust me, I’m not a bad pilot, the TARDIS can just be stubborn sometimes. And I’ve already apologized for the volcano thing!” the Doctor said, whipping out her sonic and squinting at the results. “And we’re on another ship. But there’s no one here at all.”_

_“Is it abandoned?”_

_“Good question! Points to you. Bit unfair, since there’s no one else to award points to.” The Doctor started walking forward. “It looks like it. Then again, hard to tell with all the technology in every different galaxy. Some races just like their abandoned vibe - but this…” She gently touched the walls of the hallway. The black walls were smooth, like glass, and they reflected your features back at you. “It’s abandoned, but newly activated.”_

_You broke out into a brisk walk beside her. “What do you mean by newly activated?”_

_The Doctor lit up, and if there was anything you knew about the Doctor it was that she loved explaining things. She grinned back at you, waving her hands about to make her point. “Not all ships are made for transport. Some spaceships are only for utility, and this ship seems like one of those ships. Minimum crew, maximum efficiency.”_

_You stared back at your reflection walking beside you. It was crooked, much like those mirrors you’d see at the circus. But unlike the circus, the whole ship was quiet - a quiet breeze was the only thing that seemed to whistle through the halls._

_And carried on the quiet breeze was something faint, a faint sound that travelled to your ears._

_A soft whisper of your name._

_“Doctor,” you whispered, grabbing the Doctor’s sleeve. She stopped, eyes flicking from the ceiling to you. She tilted her head, and you tugged her sleeve again. “Doctor, do you hear that?”_

_“Hear what? I don’t hear anything.” The Doctor peered into your eyes. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? You don't have to come with me if you're not feeling up to it."_

_You smiled at the Doctor. The voice whispered again, just playing at the edge of your hearing. You thought you saw a flickering light in the distance. **Come find me.**_

_"No, no, I hear something calling me, I think."_

_"Something calling you?" the Doctor echoed, and you stared off into the distance where the flickering light had come from. The flickering light was brighter down the hallway, the slightly orange glow bouncing off the walls and casting shadows over the Doctor's face._

**_Where are you?_ ** _It was the voice again, whispering to you._

_“I’m right here,” you whispered back._

_With every step, the hallway seemed to get longer. Your hesitant footsteps echoed, overlapping against the Doctor’s more confident ones._

_The hallway widened into what you could only describe as a control room. The room was covered in machinery, panels littered with screens and buttons covering every inch of the walls. In the center of the room, there was a dais, slightly raised up from the floor; on that platform, there was a softly glowing orange crystal._

_Another whisper, louder this time. **Do you see me?**_

_Your eyes flicked from the many panels to the crystal. That was it. I see you._

**_Come and see…_ **

_The Doctor had separated from you and was now striding around the room, sweeping everything she could with her sonic. “I was right about this being a utility ship. But if not transport, what for?”_

_The Doctor’s voice had faded into the background somewhat, replaced by a droning hum that numbed your mind. The crystal was glowing brightly now, pulsing to the rhythm of your heartbeat. It was so close - all you had to do was touch it and it would all be over._

_Your fingers brushed against the smooth surface of the crystal and a sudden pain shot through your head. Flashes of symbols and sequences assaulted your mind, so loud and piercing that you wanted to cover your ears even though there was barely any sound. They were keys, some kind of key… And a set of words, over and over and over:_

**_End it._ **

_It was over just as quickly as it had begun. Your knees buckled, and suddenly the floor was much closer than you thought._

_“Hey!” The Doctor reached out, tucking her arms under your armpits, steadying you. “What did you do? What happened?”_

_“Touched it,” you mumbled, still confused. “Saw stuff.”_

_The Doctor’s face was so close to yours, your noses barely touching, her breath ghosting over your skin. If it wasn’t for the fact that you had just gotten some kind of information directly beamed into your brain, you’d be blushing._

_A loud bang clattered from the other end of the hallway. The Doctor, still holding you, looked up, staring down the darkness of the hallway. She propped you up against a wall, waving her sonic with a flourish at whatever might be beyond._

_You swayed. You’d thank the Doctor later for catching you, when you felt better and not when you felt like the world was turning on its head._

_“What’s going on?”_

_The Doctor shook her head, moving to stand in front of you. “Someone’s in here with us.”_

_There was another loud bang, and then something like a roar - you winced as the sound cut into your hearing, but before you could recover you heard something else._

_“ **THIEF**!” _

_A cloaked figure emerged from the darkness, masked and intimidating, a long cloak trailing behind him. The figure had its fist raised, another figure floating ominously behind it, hidden by the figure’s shadow._

_“I got here **FIRST**!” the figure yelled, almost petulantly. “You can’t take them before **I** do!”_

_Too bad, you smugly thought. That smugness was promptly wiped away when the second figure rose up from behind the cloaked one, revealing a floating probe with various arms protruding from its semi-circular body. It had one single glowing eye, and that eye was glowing a menacing blood red. Red eyes, historically, were never a good sign._

_“Get the thief! Kill the other one!”_

_You locked eyes with the Doctor._

_“Run!”_

_You turned around and bolted. You let your feet fall heavy against the floor of the ship you were on, begging your lungs for even the tiniest shred of oxygen so that you could keep on running._

_The Doctor pushed you into a corner, keeping you hidden against a wall while the probe continued its relentless search for you. A wailing siren echoed throughout the hallway, the noise sweeping across where you were hiding before coming to a sudden stop. You paused, holding your breath and resting your hand across the Doctor’s arm._

_You could still see the faint glow of the crystal. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault - I shouldn’t have touched that thing.”_

_“It’s no one’s fault, and certainly not yours,” the Doctor said, commanded even, her presence so much even though she had her back turned and was peering out of your safe corner. “You wouldn’t have known what it was going to do. But I did tell you to not touch anything.”_

_“Rule one?” you asked, and the Doctor managed a grin._

_“Rule two. I think. I’m not particular with my rules.”_

_“Do you think it’s gone?” you whispered. She shook her head._

_Suddenly, the probe reached out with a mechanical pincer and roughly grabbed your arm, the metal sinking into soft skin where it would surely leave bruises later, if there was a later to see them. The probe yanked, and your hands lost grip on her sleeve, and you were pulled into the darkness -_

_“ **DOCTOR**!”_

_“Oh, no you don’t!”_

_You heard the loud buzzing of the sonic, and the probe let go, dropping you onto the cold ground. The Doctor grabbed your shoulder and hoisted you up, looking back at the probe, which was now sparking and making strange noises._

_“That should confuse it for now,” the Doctor breathed. “We have to get back to the TARDIS, quickly.”_

_Getting back to the TARDIS was easy enough. The cloaked figure was nowhere to be found, despite the faraway yelling and screaming that you heard. The Doctor had given you a quick once over with her sonic and hadn’t spoken since, just peering into the holographic display that had popped up when she dropped her sonic into what honestly looked like a cup holder._

_“That ship we were on was a utility ship, but it was repurposed,” the Doctor began. She squinted at the symbols, pointing at each character. “Whatever race was using it, they used those crystals on the platform to turn them into weapons. Giant super lasers capable of decimating entire cities, planets at full capacity. Somehow, those crystals managed to give you information that’s vital to the ship.”_

_You leaned forward. “But I don’t even know what I saw.”_

_“That probe that grabbed you, locked onto you as soon as it detected that you knew something.” The Doctor waved the image of the symbols away, revealing one of the ship you were just on._

_“So, it’ll keep looking for me just because I know something,” you said, and the Doctor nodded._

_“We could just keep going. Keep the distance until we find a way to stop that probe from getting its hands on you. Or - backup plan - no." The Doctor paused, swallowing. She went very, very still, and then quickly picked up her sonic from the cup-holder and pocketed it. “No. No, it’s too dangerous.”_

_"What's too dangerous?"_

_The Doctor stared at you, swallowing thickly. "If the probe is looking for you based on your memories, I could - I could take those memories away."_

_"That should be easy enough," you said. She had done it before, with Ada and all those other people you had encountered through histories that weren't meant to see some things. If you put yourself in their shoes, you could forgive the Doctor for the loss in memory of it meant the safety of others. "Well?"_

_"Thing is, I don't know what you know. Even if I managed to take away those memories and keep you safe, the probe will still know it's you." The Doctor had taken a few steps backwards. "I could take away all your memories. All your memories of travelling with me. That means -"_

_"It won't know I was ever with you." The TARDIS was now very silent. You took in the Doctor's furrowed brows, and the way her shoulders never seemed to relax. The golden light of the console reflected and casted shadows over her face, making everything seem much more grim._

_You would lose everything. Months of adventures, all your time with **her,** gone like breath on a mirror. You would go back to your boring, normal life, and some small part of you was kicking and screaming in desperate disagreement._

_"But you can bring them back, right?" you asked. The Doctor just stared._

_"I don't know." Her voice was soft. "Anyway. It's too dangerous. I won't do it."_

_You would lose everything. You were afraid of that. The Doctor was afraid of that._

_But the crystal's pleas to end it all echoed in your head. What information you'd been given had to be extremely important, otherwise you wouldn't be chased for it. No one could have it._

_There was that faith you'd always had for her - a belief that she could do the impossible. And with faith like that, you often jump blind._

_“You can’t make that choice for me. I want **you** safe.” You stood across from her and rested your hands on your hips. She looked at you from where she was leaning on, her mouth drawn into a thin line._

_“I don’t want you to go through this,” she said, turning away from you._

_“I’ll be fine.” You reached out. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”_

_You reached out, expecting her to shy away or completely back off, but she let your hand connect with her shoulder. You felt her sigh, heavy, resigned._

_“I’m sorry. I really am.”_

_“Don’t be. This is my choice."_

_She raised her hands to your head, her fingers lightly caressing your temple, just barely brushing against the skin there. A shaky breath escaped her lips as she looked you right in the eyes, her own eyes almost obscured by her blonde hair. “Are you ready?”_

_You gave her a wide smile. “As I’ll ever be.”_

_And then a flash of bright light -_

* * *

You woke up.

“Doctor -” you mumbled. The name still sounded strange in your mouth. “Jane…”

“You know who I am now, you don’t have to call me that,” the Doctor said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Nearly said _John Smith_ the other day. Every time!”

“Gimme a ‘sec,” you said, still feeling groggy and completely ignoring the fact that the Doctor had brushed your hair away from your face, “still feel weird.”

“You should feel weird. That’s loads of memories coming back to you, all at once. Bit of an overload. Sorry for that.”

_I know. Stop apologizing._ Things were becoming clearer now - the Doctor was sitting, her back against the side of your bed, holding you in her arms. The Doctor was also very _warm_ , and you relaxed slightly, melting into that warmth. You felt the Doctor shift, loosening her hold on you.

“Are you alright?” the Doctor asked, and you hummed in response. _This felt very nice_. “I need you to open your eyes for me, can you do that?”

You peeled your eyes open, groaning. You saw the Doctor’s face above you, her head backlight by your bedroom lights, making her look like an angel with a halo. Her hair glowed golden in the light, framing her face perfectly. Seeing your open eyes, the Doctor breathed, a wide smile appearing on her face.

You couldn’t help it. You stared.

The Doctor called your name, snapping you out of your reverie. “Hello? Earth to you? I can’t have my best girl passing out on me, can I? Keep your eyes open, please.”

Your heart warmed at “ _best girl”_ , and you struggled to keep your eyes open against the Doctor’s brightness. The Doctor peered into your eyes, leaning away from you when she had looked into them for a few seconds.

“You’re alright, no brain damage,” the Doctor said finally, “which is always good. Don't panic. Or maybe _do_ panic, because then that means you don't have enough brain damage to prevent panicking.”

Despite your brain and your heart’s attempts to keep you lying down, you moved to untangle yourself from the Doctor’s hold. She let you go, letting you find your own place sitting down against the side of your bed. 

“Thank you,” you breathed. The Doctor nodded. “And… I’m sorry.”

“For?” The Doctor tilted her head, looking genuinely confused. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“No, I have so many things to apologize for.” You stared at the Doctor, watched her as she furrowed her brows. _This was your fault._ “I shouldn’t have made you erase my memories; I shouldn’t have made you go through with a plan that you didn’t want to do. I’m sorry.”

“ _No,_ ” the Doctor said, raising her hands, “I should be the one saying sorry. You had no choice; _I_ had no choice but to do it. I didn’t try to look for the Exigent enough, I was too busy -”

The Doctor stopped herself, suddenly going silent. She swallowed, turning away from you for a moment before facing you, her gaze intense. “I was too busy trying to keep you safe.”

Like a shot to the heart. “Oh, _Doctor_ …”

“When I dropped you off, back home, I watched you.” The Doctor’s voice was very small now. “I watched you when you woke up, confused, and _looking for me_ even though you didn’t know who I was. I watched you _dream_ about me. And that day, in the shop, I thought you’d remembered, but I knew he would come after you if you did.”

The Doctor fell silent again, her eyes shining with unshed tears. 

The Doctor was never _this_ vulnerable with you. She was always bright, always trying to keep the fam happy. Sure, you would see anger, but never something like _this_ \- this was regret, this was sadness with just a hint of fear.

“I put you in danger,” the Doctor said, slowly and carefully as if she would break if she said any more, “and for that _I’m_ sorry.”

It hurt your heart to see her close to tears. The Doctor didn’t deserve to feel like that - she certainly didn’t deserve to feel like that on _your_ account. 

“No, no,” you murmured, reaching out and cupping the Doctor’s cheek with your hand. You felt something wet hit your palm, and you stroked the Doctor’s cheek with your thumb. “No more apologies.”

“I -”

“You asked me if I was ready that day and _I was_ ,” you said. “I’m ready for anything, if it means I can help you. You help me _so much_ \- for once, _let me help you_.”

The Doctor sighed, looking up into your eyes. You tried to stare at her with the same determination she would have on one of your adventures, one she’d wear when all hope was lost. You tried to reflect the hope she radiated, tried to give it back to her.

  
The Doctor swallowed. Then, with the weight of the universe on her shoulders, she nodded.

After a moment, she spoke. Her voice was brighter this time. “I didn’t really erase your memories. I couldn’t do that to you. I placed a wall, in your head – kept all of your memories of me under lock and key. It was strong enough to keep the Exigent away for a _while_ , but what broke it?”

“The voice,” you muttered, connecting the dots, “it was telling me things…”

The Doctor’s mouth opened, understanding dawning on her face. She stood up suddenly, moving to the spot where the Exigent’s hologram was.

“The crystal! Of course!” The Doctor cried, snapping her fingers. “Why didn’t think of that? The crystal beamed you information but I didn’t think _it was alive_! Of course the ship we were on turned them into weapons, think of a supercomputer without the hassle of programming one!” Then the Doctor frowned. “It’s brilliant, but morally flimsy.”

“ _Morally flimsy_ is an understatement.” Shaking your head, you moved to stand next to the Doctor. “The crystal told me to end it – it was basically begging me to do it.”

“No one wants to be made a weapon,” the Doctor said grimly. “But _how_ …?”

If you closed your eyes, you still saw the jumble of shapes and symbols the crystal had beamed into your mind – and they were starting to make sense. “…Doctor, I think I have an idea.”

The Doctor perked up, her head whipping around to face you. “What is it? I love a good idea.”

Before you could speak, the air around you started to bend and shimmer, warping the Doctor and your room. Your skin felt like there was electricity running across it – you raised your hands to your face and found that you could see right through them.

“Doctor, what’s going on?” You tried to reach for her, but your hand passed right through her – this could not be happening!

“You’re being teleported!” The Doctor circled around you, looking you up and down. She looked so strange as everything around you was disappearing. “The Exigent! You need to get out of there, right now – “

_Well, I did threaten him._ You looked at the Doctor as she panicked, finally pulling out her sonic screwdriver from her pockets and waving it over you. _Sorry, Doctor_.

“Don’t worry,” you said, raising your hands, “it’s part of the plan.”

“I’m not sure I like your plan,” the Doctor said, her whole body tense. Like she was ready to start running at any second. _No turning back now._

“I don’t either.”

The Exigent’s voice boomed, as if from a megaphone – “ **Face to face, you say? Now’s your chance**.”

The last thing you saw was the Doctor reaching out for you before everything disappeared.

_THUD!_

“That look like it hurt.”

You pressed your palms against the floor, pushing yourself onto your feet. You looked around – you were back in the control room of the ship. The buttons and panels looked cleaner and shinier, and the crystal was still on the platform like you had left it.

The Exigent’s laugh echoed around you. His black coat came into view as he swished it dramatically, the glow of the crystal reflecting off of its shiny fabric. His face was hidden by his mask, but you could still hear the sneer in his words. “Welcome to the Oblivion! I’m a man of my word.”

“What do you want?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“What’s in your head, of course.” The Exigent took a few steps forward. “I’m sure your Doctor has already told you what this is.”

“A weapon,” you breathed, and the Exigent nodded enthusiastically. “And what are you going to do with it?”

“Nothing, for the time being. I have this ship stationed right over your tiny planet, and if you don’t give me what I want I will take it from you and destroy this rock that you call your home.” The Exigent swept across the room, turning towards the many panels that were flashing information. The same symbols that you had seen in your head. “An ancient weapon, abandoned by its creators… and it needs a key.”

“A key?”

“DON’T ACT DUMB WITH ME!” the Exigent bellowed suddenly, whipping around. “I know the crystal gave it to you! You stole it from me when it was supposed to be MINE! You’re a thief!”

You shrunk back, feeling the anger radiating off of the Exigent’s form – it was almost like he was throwing a tantrum with the way he yelled, and you had to admit, it took some of the edge off him.

“Just – just give me the key,” the Exigent ground out. “That crystal… it won’t speak to me. Because you got to it first.”

You turned to face the crystal – its glow was dull, and its light pulsed like the rhythm of a heartbeat. What was it like, you wondered, to be forced to destroy? What kind of life would that be like? And was it even a life at all? You lifted your hand to the crystal, a wave of calm crashing over you as your fingers made contact with it.

**_You have found freedom._ **

****

_Yes. Thanks to you._ You turned to look at the Exigent, standing menacingly in the corner of the control room. _What do you want me to do?_

**_End it, as I have asked._ **

****

_How? I don’t want to kill you._

A strange rumbling sound echoed in your head. It was laughing. **_I will not die. No one ever truly dies._**

“I don’t mean to interrupt your moment of silence, but…” The Exigent held out a gloved hand, tilting his head to the side. “The key?”

**_Make your choice wisely._ **

You let out a breath. _I will._

It was time to put your plan into action.

You took your hand off the crystal, feeling the calm that had washed over you slowly start to fade away. You had to act fast before you lost your nerve – “I’ll give you the key. But I have to input it.”

“This isn’t a bargain,” the Exigent said, still holding out his hand. You shook your head.

“You can’t read my mind, and you can’t understand the crystal.” You shrugged, and the Exigent growled softly. “Silent treatment sucks, I know. But I won’t unlock the Oblivion unless I do it myself.”

The Exigent raised his hand, his fingers curling into a fist – you flinched when he brought it down against one of the panels, its screen cracking and splintering before its display fizzled out. “Fine,” he growled, his chest heaving under all of his black costume, “ _fine._ But one wrong move and I kill you.”

_That’s it?_ You felt the corners of your lips lift up slightly. “Alright.”

It was almost like something – or _someone_ – was guiding you to the main panel of the control room. It looked like the rest of the ship, sleek and reflective, and when you passed your hands over its surface its display flickered to life, filled with what used to be incomprehensible symbols, but were now a language you could understand. It showed statistics, status updates for every part of the ship, all leading back to the crystal.

Your fingers flew across the panel. The symbols and images that the crystal had beamed into your head flashed behind your eyes.

A chiming noise played, and the Exigent looked up, the tension draining from his form.

“Good,” he said. He sounded pleased. He looked up at the panels on the walls, nodding his head. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

You stepped away from the panel, spreading your arms wide. Now all you had to do was wait. “So what do you do now? Now that the Oblivion works?”

“Are you humans all like this? Asking the same questions?” The Exigent sighed, then spun around. You could imagine that behind that mask of his, his was grinning like a madman. By the sound of his voice, he probably was. “Well, I let the ship live up to its name. Roam the galaxy. Take what belongs to me. Burn everything to _oblivion_. And you or your Doctor cannot stop me.”

“Huh.” The chiming noise played again. “Don’t thank me just yet.”

“What?”

You laid your hand on the crystal again, feeling the Exigent’s eyes on you with every step you took. _Did I do it?_

**_You did. You made the right choice. And for that, I thank you._ **

****

You swallowed. You had been making terrible choices lately – the choice to lock your memories away being the worst one yet. You hurt the Doctor, you must have hurt the fam too… and if this plan of yours didn’t work - **_Do not hate yourself. All of these things were so that you could free me._**

****

_I’m sorry,_ you thought, _I hope you find peace._

****

You squinted – the crystal was starting to glow brightly again. It rumbled underneath your touch, and you felt a rumbling beneath your feet. The Exigent seemed to notice the rumbling as well. He glanced at you before turning his gaze to a panel, the one he smashed with his hand –

“What did you do?” The Exigent waved his hand, and the probe appeared again – its mechanical arm shot out and took hold of your wrist, wrenching your hand away from the crystal. “ _What did you do?”_

You let a big grin spread across your face – but if you were being honest, you were probably just baring teeth. “I just followed instructions.”

The crystal glowed red, the chiming noise from before erupting into blaring alarms. The pincer tightened against your wrist and you cried out, trying to grab at the probe. The Exigent was running around the room now, looking at all the screens blaring red and grumbling under his breath.

The probe moved quickly, pinning your wrist to the floor of the control room. Your elbow slammed against the floor, and at that moment the control room rumbled again, the vibrations moving closer and closer to where you were.

“You – you _thief_!” the Exigent cried. “What have you done? The whole ship is destroying itself!”

“It gave me more than just the keys to the ship,” you said, straining against the probe’s mechanical arm. With your free arm, you gestured to the crystal - “With all your talk of _getting here first,_ you didn’t even do your research! This ship is _alive_ and it won’t be used by people like you ever again.”

The room rocked, and the Exigent fell to his knees – defeated, perhaps. Beneath his armor you could hear him mumbling something to himself – and suddenly, his arm shot out. The probe lifted you by the arm from the floor to the wall, holding you tight so that you couldn’t escape. With a whirr, another arm emerged from the probe’s circular body and took hold of your other wrist, now pinning you against the wall.

“Then I’m _taking you with me,_ ” he snarled. He lifted his hand and ripped off part of his black cloak, letting the fabric flutter to the floor. “This ship will go down and not even your Doctor can save you now.”

**_Farewell, friend._ **

****

There was an explosion in the distance. The whole room was bathed in red, and even though everything was shaking around you, you were still eerily calm – as if the crystal was using its last power to keep you calm and safe throughout all this chaos. _Farewell._

**_Thank you, again._ **

****

_Am I going to die here?_ you thought as the room shook, some of the panels’ displays disappearing one by one.

**_Not yet._ **

And just as the room burst into white, you heard a beautiful sound – a wheezing, groaning noise, almost like singing –

**_Until we meet again_**.

The TARDIS console room materialized around you, the crystalline arches and walls slowly coming into view as the Oblivion’s control room fell into ruin. Another explosion sounded in the distance before the sound completely faded out, replaced by the TARDIS’s soft, constant humming.

“Not again!”

The Doctor scrambled over to you, waving her sonic over the probe’s mechanical body. It jerked and fell away, lying broken on the floor. You rubbed your wrists, taking in big gulps of air. “Doctor, I’m–“

“Oh, don’t start,” she said, and wrapped her arms around you. She held you tight against her like you were going to disappear, resting her chin against your shoulder. The Doctor was _hugging you_ – your arms stayed frozen as your brain stopped working for a few moments, every single thought being overwhelmed by how close she was to you. “You can apologize for being so reckless later.”

“Uhuh,” you replied, eloquent as ever. “So you’re not mad at me?”

“I will be,” the Doctor mumbled, her voice muffled as she buried her head into your shoulder. “I’m not sure yet.”

You hummed, moving your arms so that you could wrap them around her waist, resting your hands on the small of her back – the Doctor stiffened against your touch, but she didn’t let go.

“Okay, then take your time.”

You raised your head as a larger, booming explosion sounded in the distance. The Doctor let go of you, somewhat hesitantly, but took your hand and led you towards the TARDIS doors, opening them to the vast expanse of space – and the Oblivion in the distance, its entire form engulfed in fire, destroying itself in the only way it knew how.

“It said we would meet again,” you muttered, and the Doctor squeezed your hand. “I don’t know how; it must be completely destroyed by now…”

“I’ve lived for a very long time,” the Doctor began, turning her gaze to the stars, and the fiery inferno that was the Oblivion, “and things really do live on. They live on within us. So as long as you don’t forget, it’ll be with you forever.”

You thought you saw an orange star in the distance – orange like the crystal.

“Right.” You turned to look at the Doctor. She was still looking into space, the glow of the stars making her look almost ethereal. She didn’t look real against the backdrop of space, but she was very much real, and she was holding your hand. “Let’s go home? It’s been a long few days.”

The Doctor met your eyes. She pursed her lips and nodded. “After a moment. Let me stay here with you.”

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows, but you couldn’t help the flush that crept onto your cheeks.

“Time machine, remember?” The Doctor had a teasing lilt to her voice. She moved closer to you, and lifted your hand so it rested against her chest, letting you feel her heartbeats. “We have all the time in the universe. And besides, you owe me a proper date.”

There was something unsaid in the Doctor’s voice, but you didn’t dare ask – she was right, she had all the time in the universe to explain. And you had all the time in the universe with her.


End file.
